26 Apr
Friday evening we were asked to create a birthday cake for a friend of ours… Always up for a challenge, we took it on.
As the lucky guy that turned 30 was a Bulls fan we attempted to tailor the cake for that. There were so many other things we wanted to do but simply didn’t have the time. That said, with less than 24 hours we managed to turn out a sweet result!
Take a look at a few of the photos here.
21 Apr
While the day marched toward a conclusion yesterday, I had the desire to get back into the kitchen an throw something together. Also, some part of me wanted to surprise Anju with a new dish, but I realized that I needed a bit of help throwing everything together. Sure, I could have pounded everything out but we would have had dinner at 8PM if that was the case… yea… not going to work.
So the little lady battered and fried my breading recipe which are now calling Vanju’s Deep Fried, Perfectly Seasoned Calamari. The link provides the recipe, but here is a little food porn for your enjoyment.
You cannot go wrong doing some cooking together, especially if it is fried food!
05 Apr
There is nothing like a nice family brunch… We had the three F’s – Food, Family, Fun…
Oh, and the pictures of our Easter Egg Cake can be found there as well.
Here are the pictures from Easter 2010 with the family.
02 Apr
If you are in a relationship, chances are you find yourself thinking “Gee, why is it I love the person I am with” at some point or another.
As I sit here, at 1:30AM, while waiting for a number of thing s to happen (an all important email, my feeling of actually being tired to kick in…) I started to have that “Gee…” feeling kick in.
So, that said, here are 10 reasons why I love my beautiful wife.
10) She has a sense of humor that matches mine.
Anyone who knows and understands who we are will tell you we (individually) have ‘different’ perceptions of humor. Put us together and, wouldn’t you know it, they blend together perfectly.
9) She is an intellectual giant
I love talking with her, I love challenging her, and I love the fact that we can have fun and have intellectually stimulating conversations.
8 ) She is truly beautiful
Need I say more?
7) She has an innocence that life hasn’t taken away
The funny thing about life is that is can turn someone bitter, unhappy, and generally cranky with very little effort… that hasn’t happened with the woman I love. She still has an innocents that only goes to show that life can bring you happiness no matter what you face.
6) She is willing to grow
She is honest with her feelings, and she is willing to explore things she does not know… she is not a ‘status quo’ personality. If something doesn’t work, she fixes it… if she is wrong, she admits it…
5) She cares…
Really, she does. She cares about things I never will, no matter how hard I try… which brings me to number 4…
4) She wants to help…
My wife wants to impact the world around her; she wants to ensure that others have the highest quality of life… That, in and of itself, is rare and amazing.
3) She is willing to say “Yes, I was wrong… I am sorry.”
When she is at fault she will admit it, and she will take responsibility for it. This may be part of her willingness to grow, but she has no fear in saying when she was wrong.
2) She will be an outstanding mother
Without a doubt, my wife will be an outstanding mother (when the time comes!). That is, exactly, what I wanted from a partner in life.
1) She loves me for who I am
She accepts me for who I am; faults and all. She stands by my side, and she helps me become a better person.
So, take a second and take stock of why you love your partner. Then tell them why you do as they deserve to be reminded of the love you two share….
15 Mar
Currently, Van & I are both in grad school (each for a different program). He is taking his courses online and I am currently on campus. Last week was finals week for both of us. Traditionally, after finals, my classmates and I have generally made it a point to grab a drink/bite to eat afterwards. This time, at the last minute, since we got out of class early, we decided to go to Gino’s East and get something to eat. Four of us went (3 of us were married). There was one woman in our group who was getting married (for the second time, but many years later) and she asked each of us for some advice on marriage. After our conversation, when I got home, I shared the details with Van just to get his take on the advice and to see what he would add. Here is some of the things we all came up with & agree on:
- First & foremost - if you have any doubt about the person you are thinking about marrying, DON’T get married. It is ok to wonder whether you can handle things with the person, but not to wonder about the person them self. Life is challenging. Better make sure you are with a person that you can (and who can be by your side) even during the hard times.
- Always be a nice person to your spouse. There is no better person to go out of your way for than the person with whom you chose to spend the rest of your life
- Celebrate monthly anniversaries – do something small for each other every month to celebrate your love.
- Never stop dating each other. Do things together. Keep the flame alive that brought you together in the beginning.
- Establish times/places for personal space everyday (even if you have a small place).
- Set goals together – family, education, financial, professional.
- Finances are generally a very touchy subject. Most people assume that as soon as you get married, it is mandatory to merge finances. This might work for some. But for those who are more independent, separate bank accounts might work for you. I am not saying keep completely separated financially; however, similar to establishing personal time/space, separate checking accounts (but joint savings accounts) might be a good solution to maintain a sense of control over your finances while easing into merging assets as well.
- Communication. Establishing an understanding of how the other person communicates is essential. For some, this might be uncomfortable, but it is definitely a worthwhile exercise in the long run. Let the other person know how you express your happiness, excitement, sadness, anger, frustration, resentment – the whole gambit of feelings you have.
- Learn to talk with your eyes. This is a fun form of communication that can save or help you (or the other person) in crucial moments.
- Never go to bed angry. Come to some sort of resolution so you can rest easy.
- Apologize freely. Often times you might not think you are wrong, but sometimes, it is simply a matter of acknowledging that you have hurt your partners feelings. It is important to make their feelings a priority. Nurture them by apologizing for hurting them when you do.
- Laugh as much as you can, together. Enjoy the friend that you have in your partner
- Don’t compete with your partner. Instead get on the same team and nurture and support your partner’s strengths.
- Choose your battles. When you are married to someone, it generally is different than simply dating them. When you share a live, you uncover and share behavioral nuances (a.k.a annoying habits) that might drive you crazy. Definitely say something that bothers you, but say it in a kind way. If your partner is redirectable, ask them if they would consider doing “x” instead. Harping gets you nowhere so learn to either state your case, or suck it up.
- XYZ - when you have an issue you want to discuss, it is good to use a structured method to prevent your emotions from taking over. Try this: “When you do ‘x‘ it makes me feel ‘y‘. I wish you would do ‘z‘.” This helps clearly identify what issue is actually bothering you and how it makes you feel and what the other person could do to make you feel better. Making someone guess what would make you happy doesn’t help them…and it might just end up hurting you and your relationship.
Well, these are just some things tidbits helpful things Van & I have learned in our marriage that helped us.
15 Feb
We are new here, give us a break!
This site is for Van & Anjana Santos. Mainly to document life and to communicate with our families…
